Somewhere out there, in a dimly lit room full of professional SEO consultantsand half-eaten biscuits, someone decided the best way to get traffic was to write like a malfunctioning vending machine.
Insert keyword. Repeat keyword. Forget reader.
And then they wonder why no one sticks around.
If you’ve ever read a blog post and thought, This feels like it was written by a filing cabinet, you’re not alone. That’s the danger of writing for Google and forgetting you’re meant to be talking to people.
So, how do you please the algorithm without sounding like an android with a blog?
Let’s start where all good SEO begins: with a brain. Preferably your own.
Write Like You’re Talking to Someone Who Might Laugh
Imagine explaining your topic to a mildly interested cousin. Not a professor. Not a robot. Someone who doesn’t know much but isn’t daft.
If you wouldn’t say:
“The implementation of strategic keyword placement in long-form content has proven to be beneficial for visibility metrics…”
Then don’t write it.
Instead, try:
“If you put the right words in the right places, Google notices. Same as your readers.”
Google doesn’t reward long words. It rewards clarity. And people read what they understand. Especially if it doesn’t give them a headache.
Use the Flaming Keyword – But Don’t Set Fire to the Page
Yes, you need to use your keyword. But not 37 times in the first paragraph. That’s not SEO. That’s how you get your post read by no one, except maybe your mother out of pity.
Put the keyword:
- In the title
- In the first bit of the first paragraph
- Once or twice more where it fits
- In a subheading if it makes sense
And then stop treating it like a golden relic and start writing sentences that make sense.
Break Things Up – Like a Bad Relationship
People don’t read blogs. They skim. If you want to rank and keep them on the page, don’t give them a wall of words that looks like it belongs in a courtroom transcript.
Use:
- Headings
- Short paragraphs
- Lists (like this one)
- Sentences that don’t go on for three days
White space is not wasted space. It’s the difference between “Ah, I’ll read this” and “Oh no, I’m trapped.”
Add Real Examples (Or at Least Fake Ones That Sound Plausible)
The internet is full of vague waffle. Don’t add to it.
Saying “you need good content” means nothing. Show them. Give examples. Tell a story. Mention Barry the plumber who doubled his traffic by writing about leaking taps. Even if Barry’s imaginary, at least he’s got personality.
Don’t Write for Google. Write for Barry.
Google reads your blog like a machine. Because, well, it is one.
But Barry? Barry wants to fix his kitchen tap and not fall asleep doing it.
If you help Barry, Google will notice. That’s how it works now.
The search engine doesn’t want the most robotic site. It wants the one that helps people answer questions without making them scroll through three paragraphs of nothing.
Avoid the Fancy Stuff
Here’s a trick: if you wouldn’t say it in a pub, don’t write it.
Don’t say “synergistic potential.”
Say “how things work together.”
Don’t say “maximise results.”
Say “get better outcomes.”
If your sentence starts sounding like it belongs on a consultant’s PowerPoint slide, rip it out and feed it to a goat.
Add a Bit of You
You don’t have to be funny. But it helps.
A small opinion. A throwaway joke. A line about how your dog once ate your analytics report. That’s the stuff that makes your blog sound alive.
The algorithm likes structure. But readers like voice. And if you want people to link to your post, they need to feel like someone real wrote it – not a content bot fuelled by anxiety and instant noodles.
Final Word
Want help writing blog posts that don’t sound like re-heated spam?
That’s what I do. Get in touch with me via my website, and we’ll make your website less robotic and more readable – without sacrificing Google’s love.
Ranking is useful. So is being readable. But if you chase one and forget the other, you end up with blog posts that rank and bounce like a trampoline.
Write simply. Use your brain. Be useful. Be yourself. And whatever you do, don’t sound like a microwave trying to sell you insurance.
